Sometimes kids can be total brats and then we have to discipline them. It teaches them respect and compassion for their fellow human beings. It also teaches them that there are consequences to actions.
I don't believe in 'corporal punishment' or hands-on discipline. It's a done thing here in the UK to smack your kids if they're naughty, but I've seen it taken to the exteme too many times to mention.
In Norway, where I spent most of my 'growing up' life, smacking children is against the law. You're not even allowed to tap their hand, so you have to think up other ways of disciplining your children no matter what.
Here at home, we discipline ours by taking things from them. Toys, playstations and freedom are the ones that work best here. Say Kelsey is being a total witch (hey, it happens at her age LOL). She gets grounded. Depending on her actions and attitude the grounding can be anything from a day in the house to a week with no friends being allowed over.
The worst grounding (and it works on all 4 of mine, even the 16 year old) is the grounding where they have to stay with me ALL day. If I go to the kitchen, they come to the kitchen with me, I go to the living room, they sit there with me. The only 'free' space until bedtime is the bathroom LOL.
They absolutely hate it. Even though they love spending time with me, being with me ALL day can drive anybody nuts hehehe.
It's harder for Hugh though, as he's only been with us for a year and of course, the kids are still testing the ground with him. Unfortunately, if he has to tell them off for something, he always feels guilty as hell about it afterwards.
I have to tell him that he's in the right. After all, all he wants is to take care of them and make sure they don't get hurt or anything. That's really the only time he ever tells them off, if they're in danger of hurting themselves or somebody else.
Last night was different. Courtney has been really pushing the limits with him lately, refusing to do as she's asked, but she's been like that with everybody else too. Anyway, he decided to ground her to her room today. She thought I would be on her side, but no chance. If it's going to work, everybody involved has to play by the same rules.
It's hard work at times. She's sitting whining about it, Hugh's in the dining room trying to hide the feelings of guilt and I'm sticking to my guns and agreeeing with his decision. The rest of the kids aren't phased at all, they're just ignoring her LOL.
Chris has his own room as an extention to the house, if he does anything we don't agree with or that he shouldn't be doing, his 'punishment' is sleeping in his old room IN the house. Which ultimately means Kyle and Courtney jumping on him to wake him up at 5.30am. He hates that, and learns fast ;)
Kyle is a different kettle of fish altogether. If you've visited my
Kids and ADHD blog you'll know what I mean. Very little discipline has ever worked on him, but the one that does work (if I can handle the tantrums and smashing up of things) is taking away his playstation.
I have to say though, life is getting a lot easier with him since he started on his new medication, and he's actually started responding to small disciplinary actions, such as having to sit on the sofa for 20 minutes. That in itself feels like 3 hours for Kyle, but he's starting to see that there are consequences for certain actions, which is great.
If you have to discipline your kids, please don't hit them, it just teaches them that hitting is ok and they'll go out and hit others at some point in time, even possibly their own kids when that time comes. There are plenty other ways to discipline kids, you just have to find the ones that work for you.
Anna
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